


Memories

by Aqua111



Category: Sonic the Hedgehog (Archie Comic)
Genre: Background story, Friendship, Gen, Memories, One-Sided Attraction, Original Character(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-07
Updated: 2018-09-07
Packaged: 2019-07-08 04:21:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15922760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aqua111/pseuds/Aqua111
Summary: First chapter explores the background story of one of my OCs Charon. Can be skipped if background stories of OCs aren't your thing.Second chapter goes into action. Charon and Xenin are sent on a mission to explore an abandoned factory ground. There is still more activity inside than they thought.





	1. Chapter 1

"Alright, now we need to test your grip", Dr. Dee-Es said, her bright red eyes not leaving her notepad while her partner Dr. Nox prepared the next machinery. "Now hold onto this. Put some more pressure on it. Okay, that's still adjustable but at least the moves are smooth."  
The past few hours Charon had spent in the labs doing movements in slow motion like the longest and weirdest Tai Chi exercise, the days before he had been in an artificial coma - kept alive by machines to be upgraded into a better functional machine himself. It had been a process long overdue - delayed by the many wars, the loss of the majority of the project members, the near extinction of the Echidna kind. But now the Grandmasters had called the elite project back to life, under the lead of two scientists of the original project - the albino Dee-Es and her dark furred partner Nox. Charon could say he knew them quite well already - after all it had been them who designed and tested his previous heavy armour.  
He tried to pull himself up an iron metal bar when suddenly his grip loosened and he fell back crashing into some lab equipment.  
"The fingers definitely need adjustment", Nox commented.  
Charon bit down a curse before getting up again, moving on to the next test. At least leaping back to his feet now had become an easy task. Way back, more than ten years ago, when he just had gotten his heavy armour this would have been impossible and he would have been stuck like a turtle lying on the back - and that not just because of the weight. A little smile flashed over his face. What a hopeless case he had been back then.  
  
~~~***~~~  
  
Slowly Charon walked through the corridors, trying not to topple over, run into any more walls and moreover be seen by more other people than necessary. Why had he been considered good enough for the newly founded elite project again? Sure, he once had been the best of his squad but that young soldier had apparently died a couple of days ago and been replaced by someone with the agility of an overweight sloth. He couldn't even blame it on his armour - well, at least not completely. While the unfamiliar weight slowed down his actions everything worked perfectly fine. He was just incapable of putting it to use and with that became the laughing stock of his new team. Not really having any close friends before he entered the new team didn't help much either. There was another young male who had all of his limbs completely replaced - he definitely carried around more weight than Charon - and even he fared way better. At least he didn't laugh as well.  
  
The mess hall was empty. For the other soldiers lunch break was already over, the elites could take sporadic breaks whenever they weren't needed for more testing.  
The people behind the counter gave him pitying gazes when he slowly shuffled to one of the tables, balancing his tray like he had to carry a really huge and wobbly pile of books. Sometimes starving didn't seem like such a bad option. After a bit he finally completed the task of sitting down and could concentrate on the next one - grabbing a water bottle on the table. He slowly reached out but then his arm suddenly moved faster than intended and he knocked it off the table.  
"You are the most helpless case I have ever seen", a high-pitched voice said.  
Charon winced and quickly looked up to see a child standing at the opposing side of the table. Probably ten years of age but that was all he could tell. Pretty androgynous, unclear if boy or girl. How quiet must he ... she ... it have been to walk all the way through the mess hall up to this table unnoticed? Or had it already been in the room all the time and Charon had just overlooked it?  
The child quickly dove under the table to retrieve the bottle then sat down on one of the chairs facing Charon.   
"You seriously need help."  
Charon wasn't sure if he just had been declared as retarded or seriously been offered help but guessing from previous reactions of people he knew and had learned to know it probably was the former.  
"Don't you need to be at school or something?" he asked, his gaze fixated on his plate. It just felt too uncomfortable looking at someone, especially a child who just had bluntly told him he needed help.  
"Yeah, we had stealth training. I used it as a chance to sneak away."  
Charon snorted. It was just a short outburst of laughter but it was the first time he had laughed in days. He finally dared to look at the child again who now lightly wobbled back and forth, probably dangling its feet under the table, and still stared at him in anticipation.  
"What's your name?"  
"Kaya-Na."  
Okay, so at least it was clear now that it was a girl.  
For a moment he pondered if he really wanted to ask the next question but how much more damage could the answer do.  
"What kind of help did you mean?"  
Kaya-Na now stood up and walked around the table. "Something like this." She placed her smaller hand on his and lightly lifted it up. "Do you have sensors to feel pressure?" And when he nodded she continued, "Good, then just follow my lead. Don't do anything, just memorize the movements and then repeat what you felt."  
This was actually new to him. In the project they had often explained to him how his new limbs and skin would react to the same nerves and muscle movements as his biological ones but no one had told him what he was supposed to do when those new skin and limbs suddenly had a completely different texture, weight, speed and response time.  
After successfully grabbing the bottle with Kaya-Na's help he had to try it on his own. Slowly he wrapped his fingers around it - and squeezed it hard enough to crack open, showering them both with water.  
The girl quickly shook the water out of her fur. "Thanks, at least now I'm awake..." She gave the bottle and then Charon a baffled look. "When I tried it with my classmate it worked. And nothing even close to that happened."  
"Was your classmate also designed to opt as a tank at the front line?"  
"Well ... no ..." Her perplexity didn't last for long though. "But that only means we have to train harder and longer."  
  
~~~***~~~  
  
Dr. Nox ushered him back to the surgical part of the lab. At least Charon didn't have to endure another time in a comatose state since he only needed minor improvements.  
His exercises back then with Kaya definitely were less straining even though at that time he barely could control his own body. But Kaya also was no matter-of-fact scientist although she was as persistant as one. He probably couldn't have avoided her anymore even if he had wanted to. Somehow she seemed to have adopted him as her baby brother - despite Charon being about nine years older - and she couldn't bear the thought of letting him wander through this world without properly preparing him for it. And he was thankful for it, not just the training but also their growing friendship - she was the best friend and sister which both he never had before. And there was something else which drew them even closer.  
  
~~~***~~~  
  
Kaya-Na silently closed the door behind her and shot him a curious look when she sat down on the bed next to Charon. He had warned her in advance that he needed to tell her something that could put her off so it was probably a good sign that she came nevertheless although it wouldn't make telling any easier. It could even destroy the friendship they had built up these past four years. But he just didn't want to put up this lie anymore - not to her, and also not to himself. She was old enough and sooner or later she would notice something wasn't quite right on her own - that could even be worse.  
"You must know, from birth on I had ... some kind of defect. At least that's what it would be called among the Dark Legion", he told his blanket. He was too afraid to look up into her face, just noticed from his peripheral view that she tilted her head. "I don't ... I can't ... love the right way. I mean ... I tried. I even dated females but that never led to anything other than awkwardness. I know how despised my condition is. How much a freak of nature I am. How people avoid me when they realize something. But I just ... I can't help..."  
His voice faded and he wrapped his arms around his body. He had noticed that Kaya-Na had moved but he still couldn't look up. Don't leave me, he wanted to plead to her, help me like you have helped me before, although he knew he couldn't be helped and was alone with his feelings. He wanted to keep talking but the lump in his throat was burning making it hard to speak.  
And then Kaya-Na was right next to him, wrapped her arms around his shoulders and pulled him into a warm embrace.  
"I'm not leaving you alone", she mumbled into his shoulder. "You're my brother and if anyone calls you a freak of nature they will have to deal with me."  
Charon felt something on his cheeks and he needed a second before he realised it were his own tears. He hadn't cried anymore since he had been a toddler. Tears only left him weak, so did all his other feelings, he always had to present the world his strong side. But at this moment, with Kaya-Na by his side, he finally could give in to his weakness.  
  
~~~***~~~  
  
Much later Iskander had been the one with a stronger reaction to Charon's confession. Though apparently it wasn't too hard on him either - after all he still called himself Charon's friend. But then again Iskander had never been the type to dwell on something for long.  
Another day had passed and the scientists finally seemed satisfied with their testing results.  
"We still need some field studies so we are sending you to our newfound training grounds on Mobius Prime", Nox explained while walking to the parked jets. "We can't leave our lab to see the results ourselves but we will stay in contact with you and you will be accompanied by another elite."  
Charon suddenly felt a burning sensation in his stomach. It couldn't be ... but there were no other elites left...   
Once they had been friends. How could this friendship even start - they both seemed so different. Right, because despite being known as a joker among the team he never laughed at Charon and thus Charon also wasn't afraid to talk with him after a while. Now after hardly ever being in the same teams anymore time had made them strangers - or at least that's what Charon tried to make himself believe. It was the best excuse for staying away on purpose - for the sake of his own growing feelings. He had hoped that maybe over the years his crush had subsided but just a mere mention of being by his side again was the spark to re-ignite it. Sometimes the soultouch could be a bitch.  
Xenin already waited for him by the jet and flashed him a grin. "Hey, buddy. Been a long time. It's good to work with you again."  
  
~~~***~~~  
  
"Our training grounds aren't fully explored yet", Dee-Es explained over the jet's comm. "All we know is that it's a forest near Albion and that there is an abandoned facility in it. Probably storage houses and factory grounds, abandoned even before Albion had turned into a ghost town."  
"Albion?" Xenin asked. "Hadn't it been said that the poisonous gas would linger for a couple of years longer? Could be quite dangerous getting near it. You know, we can bear a lot but our lungs aren't made of titanium."  
"We have thought about the possibilities but the city is too far away from our training grounds to be an immediate threat. Just don't wander east of your landing point."  
Xenin nodded. "Good enough. So what's our mission?"  
"Explore the facility and the surrounding area if we could make it into an actual training ground. We don't know who or what might have settled down in that area or in what condition the buildings are. That's why we rather send a small elite unit than a scouting team. Your chance of unharmed escape is way higher."  
  
After some further instructions and information about their locations the comm shut down and for a good while they sat in silence.  
"You're quite the talker today", Xenin finally said. "Something the matter?"  
Yes, you are the matter...  
Actually after years of barely seeing each other Charon had a lot he wanted to ask and tell but the feeling in his guts had nearly paralysed his tongue.  
Xenin's face lit up is sudden realisation. "Oh, heights, am I right? If I'm not mistaken you once told me you were afraid of heights."  
"Yeah ... something like that", Charon mumbled, slightly relieved that he didn't appear too suspicious.  
"Don't worry, just five more minutes and it's over."  
Charon just weakly smiled at his reply. No, it would never be over.


	2. Chapter 2

"Hope that the factory you are about to investigate has an intact roof because the weather looks like it could make a turn for the worst", their pilot reported. A crack of thunder underlined his words. He cursed. “To hell with it, I’m not going to fly any closer to the epicentre of that storm. I’m going to drop you off at the edge of the forest. The factory is three kilometres from there. If you’re fast enough you could reach that before the storm reaches you.”  
Xenin nodded. “Easily doable since none of us has to carry a heavy burden anymore.”  
He gave Charon a grin which the other male could only return half-heartedly. He knew it was just a joke but – come on; his former armour had hardly been that much of a burden.  
  
Their transportation soared into the air again causing the high grass around them to flutter. From their position they could see high buildings in the distance; most of it was shrouded in mist.  
“That is Albion, isn’t it?” Xenin quietly said. “You know I don’t like those city Echidnas but this… It’s just a devious act of cowardice. I have killed too but at least I can be fought. How can you fight gas that slowly fills your lungs?”  
Charon felt his hair raising, not just at the sight of Albion but also because of the tone in his voice. The Xenin he once had been training with hardly ever cared about these things – but that had been many years ago. Wars changed people, or maybe it was partially also because of Lien-Da.  
As fast as Xenin’s melancholic impulse had come it was gone again. He let out his breath and shook his head, then turned towards his friend.  
“Come, we still have a mission and we have get there fast. Not too keen of us two metal heads being out in the open during a thunderstorm.”  
  
Once they stood in the shadows of the first couple of trees Charon checked their map while Xenin summed up their mission details.  
“Okay, so the forest has a lower priority right now just as long nothing of importance seems to be roaming it in masses. Our main destination is the factory, we have to scout it out, clean it from possible squatters and then report back if we deem it suitable as a future training area.”  
“And even if the mission sounds easy we have to be careful”, Charon reminded him. “Dee told us to test new cybernetics – and not to even go as far as breaking your Chaos core.”  
Xenin lifted his hands. “Hey, when have I ever been reckless while following my orders? … Well, aside of leaving Dimitri to die. And getting rammed by a taxi. And jumping in front of exploding gas cans. And attacking Kragok before having my Chaos core electrocuted. Okay, I admit I have a slight tendency for behaving like an idiot.”  
Charon gave him a crooked smile. “Just use that head of yours for more than just as a pretty decoration.”  
“You call a monster pretty? Now that is cute.”  
  
Charon had expected their half an hour walk through the forest to be mostly silent and awkward – how were you even supposed to start a conversation after barely talking to someone for years? – but after a little while it just came back naturally. Granted, at first it was just Xenin talking but Charon couldn’t stay silent forever, especially not after being asked questions, and soon it was like they had never been separated. At least nearly – on Charon’s side a certain gap would always remain.  
  
Rain had started to pour down on them before they finally reached the factory grounds. A high wire-netting fence surrounded nearly all of the buildings. A deep gap formed a natural border further south; according to the map a river flowed down there. It probably had once been the main way to receive or send away machinery and resources.  
“Looks like it’s still in an acceptable condition”, Xenin commented looking up the walls. He rattled the fence a bit. “Sturdy enough - it would take me a while to break through this. Though its weak point is definitely that it can be easily climbed over.”  
“I don’t think that’s really a weak point”, Charon said. “We are looking for a training ground, not a fortress.” He forced open one of the heavy doors. “Come, let’s scout out the inside and get out of this rain.”  
  
Neon lights lit up above their heads, shortly flickered, then turned off again – therefore a few more lights flickered further down the corridor.  
“The electricity has gone haywire”, Xenin mumbled.  
Lightning flashed outside, bathed the corridor in bright light for a split second. During the following thunder everything remained dark, and then the light above their heads was back.  
“And this storm is definitely giving it the rest”, Charon commented.  
Slowly they continued down the hallway, stopping once in a while to listen. Had there been a noise? The rain hammering against the windows made it hard to distinguish between sounds. Again there was something, this time clearer – the opening and closing of one of the electronic doors. Just another malfunction or…?  
The sound led them to a small room, the door they stepped through was wide open, the door on the other side closed in front of their eyes.  
Charon let out the breath that he hadn’t realized he had held in. “Malfunction.” He looked around the room. “Seems like a test chamber to me. Machinery can be tested in here under certain conditions. There is just one control panel next to the malfunctioning door, the rest was probably operated from outside.”  
That moment the door slammed shut behind them. Xenin spun around and tried to break it open. After a few seconds he rammed his fist against it in frustration.  
“Locked. And this thing is built to withstand an explosion. What about the other door?”  
“No luck here”, Charon replied but his voice was nearly drowned out by a hissing sound. Water vapour filled the room, the same time tiles on the walls started glowing.  
“The room is getting hotter. These are radiators”, Charon said a bit louder. “They probably tried to test their machines if they could withstand heat and humidity – though I doubt both was ever done at the same time.”  
“That’s like a damn sauna and it’s getting even hotter. Didn’t you say something about a control panel? Maybe we can crack that open”, Xenin suggested.  
“I doubt that simply destroying it would help us”, Charon said.  
“Who said I would destroy it?” Xenin had pried open the cover and took a close look as its insides.  
“Wait … you can override this?”  
“No, I just need to fix a broken door. You can’t believe how often I had to fix minor malfunctions on my own body. This should only take a minute.”  
They probably wouldn’t even have a minute. With each passing second the room felt hotter. The humid air made breathing harder. Charon had to lean against the wall. Then he noticed that Xenin had stopped in his movements. Something was wrong here – his friend was clinging to the panel for support, his breath came in shallow and rapid gasps – it looked like he was on the verge of a panic attack.  
“Hey, what’s wrong?” He carefully grabbed Xenin’s shoulders and turned him around so he could lean against the wall.  
“Air … can’t breathe …” Xenin murmured.  
“Okay, please stay with me. We can do this. We can get out of here.” Charon tried to speak as calmly as possible while giving the panel a helpless glance. He wasn’t sure if he could do this without Xenin. “Just breathe in and out slowly, it’s just warm and very moist air, nothing dangerous.” At least not for now. “Now please try to focus. What do I have to do next with this panel?”  
“Loose contacts”, was all he got out of Xenin.  
Charon looked closer at the panel. A few parts really seemed to be hanging a bit loose. Now he just could hope that Xenin had already repaired enough and this was only the last remaining step.  
The door opened. Charon needed a second to realize his success but then he grabbed Xenin and dragged him out into the corridor.  
For a moment they remained kneeling on the floor, gasping in the cooler air.  
“Everything alright?” Charon asked after a little while.  
“No.” Xenin glared at the floor. “I still don’t have it under control.” He met his friend’s wondering gaze and continued, “Have you ever suffocated to death? No … stupid question, of course not. But I have, nearly twice. Once in the egg grape chamber – a toxic liquid was in my lungs and I was clinically dead until Finitevus decided to revive me. The second time I would have died in the war of Albion if it hadn’t been for that Guardian’s help. Most of the time I was unconscious then but there were moments when I could feel something was wrong with my lungs. I … Whenever my breathing is restricted now I feel like I am about to lose it.”  
Charon looked at him with eyes wide open. “And no one can help you.”  
Xenin snorted. “No one knows. I am an elite and moreover a Grandmaster’s bodyguard. This is a condition I shouldn't allow myself to have. That's something I have to deal with on my own."  
"Xenin..." Charon wasn't sure what to tell him. That there was more than one Dark Legionnaire with a condition they shouldn't allow themselves to have - in this very hallway? That he should simply swallow his pride? This was the pride his friend had always shown since he knew him. Get a task, carry it out with perfection - show the slightest weakness that could hinder you during your task, train to the brink of exhaustion so you wouldn't do it again. Somehow Charon felt proud that his friend put so much trust in him to tell him, the same time he was angry that he didn't want to accept any other help. He wanted to hug Xenin just for how miserable he looked kneeling in front of him and the same time he wanted to slap him in the face.  
"Xenin... if anything it should be your duty to tell Lien-Da. And not just because she is your Grandmaster. There are some things you can't deal with alone. One day you two could find yourself in the same situation as we had been now."  
He finally stood up and held out his hand. "Come, I want to get out of this malfunctioning death trap as soon as possible."  
  
They continued their walk in silence. Charon took the lead. It probably had been a low punch to tell Xenin that he could pose a risk to Lien-Da but how else was he supposed to get through this shell of pride?  
The floors in the first building were clear, so was the second building just storage for metal parts. They just had started their round through the third when they started to hear a clanging sound. Through the metal grid the ceiling was made of they saw something skitter away. The two looked at each other, then Xenin motioned towards the way upstairs.  
They entered a larger hall with a couple of walkways and from their heightened position they could see what it was filled with. Hundreds of robotic spiders, the majority had activated and crawled around aimlessly, some of them had even entered the walkways a floor below. They were small and to Charon they didn't look dangerous but Xenin quickly dodged behind the bannister.  
"Holy shit, what complete nutter produces T-6 models in in the middle of a forest close to a city and then leaves it to rot?"  
"Robotnik in a whim after he found an already derelict factory? And then he lost interest again?" Charon suggested. He knew it was just a wild guess but it was the most probable. "What are T-6?"  
"They are like robotic hellburners. Fast, can reach nearly everything and will self-destruct once a target is found. No wonder those doors were made to withstand an explosion. We have to get out of here and report back - this mission needs a bigger clean-up team than us two. I can withstand a few but not that army. And you..." He looked up and down Charon's body. "I don't know what they tested on you."  
"My armour is bullet proof", Charon replied.  
"So had been my previous cybernetics - until an explosion tore my back to shreds. Oh sh-"  
Xenin didn't even take the time to finish his curse. He dragged Charon to the ground and shielded him with his own body, might it be out of a reflex or because he didn't trust his new armour at all. The spider that had crawled up to their walkway only a second ago overcharged and exploded. Even behind his living barrier Charon could feel the pressure wave and the scorching heat.  
Now that they had taken notice of the intruders more robots skittered up the walls, some already detonated on the ground.   
"We have to get out!"  
Xenin pulled his partner off the ground, rammed a window and dragged Charon out with him. Over their heads an explosion shattered all of the windows and a shower of broken glass accompanied them to the ground. A fall from three stories above the ground wasn't the most painless but at least Charon's armour withstood the impact.  
They had landed not too far from the gap. Also the nearest part of the fence was only a few steps away but when Xenin touched it he quickly recoiled and rubbed his hand.  
"Shit, it's electric. Strong enough to fry my circuits. Looks like that had malfunctioned before as well."  
They quickly scanned the area. A few planks led over the gap. The rain had made them slippery and crossing them was definitely not a safe way but the sound of a couple surviving T-6 crawling out the destroyed windows made the decision for them. Xenin was the first on the plank and had already halfway crossed it when he turned around to wait for Charon.  
The other male had only made it two slow steps far. His legs, no his whole body felt like frozen. This bloody gap was at least ten metres deep, the river on the ground didn't make it any more welcoming and even while he stood still he could feel his feet slowly slipping away. Xenin balanced back and stretched out his arm.  
"Hey, take my hand."  
Charon wanted to make a move but that moment he lost his footing completely. Xenin still managed to grab his wrist - and with that was jerked off the plank as well.  
  
The current dragged him along, he was slammed against the rocks a couple of times and a sharp pain spread through his shoulder but still Charon held onto the hand tightly. Aside of the current Xenin's weight kept pulling him under the surface. Could the other even swim? He finally managed to grab part of the rocky wall and drag both their weights to the surface. Hanging in his arms Xenin at first coughed up water before he could find his footing and help Charon climbing out the gap.  
  
They now were surrounded by forest again, the factory had disappeared behind the trees. Once in a while a banging noise was heard.  
"Okay, I think we can tell Dee ... to go screw herself", Xenin mumbled after a while, still sounding out of breath. "Or to bring a bigger mop to clean up that chaos." He looked at Charon. "Hey, there's blood dripping down your shoulder. Let me see."  
He moved behind him and Charon felt his fingers carefully wander down his shoulder blade. It stung like hell - but still... Charon tried to ignore the feeling in his stomach.  
"If this was my armour they already would have heard a piece of my mind", the voice behind his back grumbled. "It ripped along your shoulder blade and bent inwards. The more you move the more it cuts into your flesh." The fingers tightened. "I have to get it out of there. Sorry, buddy, but this will hurt - a lot."  
Charon had been prepared for pain but not this much. His vision filled with white light which soon was replaced by darkness.  
When he came to he was leaning against something hard but warm, something with a heartbeat. It took him a few more seconds to realize it was Xenin's chest. As quickly as his wounded shoulder allowed he sat up and slipped away a bit.  
"S-sorry", he mumbled though he wasn't sure what he even apologised for. Leaning against a friend? In that case he should have apologised the whole day long. Still he couldn't keep the heat from rising up his face.  
Xenin just chuckled. "A lot of people would have blacked out, so no need to worry. You weren't away for long. Didn't even have the time to wipe away the blood."  
  
He took a moment to radio their pilot, then Xenin sat down next to Charon again.  
"I think we both were forced to face our fears often enough for just one day."  
Charon weakly nodded. He felt the other's gaze on him but couldn't bring himself to return it. "I'm not too fond of returning to the lab for another week-long repairing and testing either", he said, just for the sake of saying something. Anything, just as long as the awkward silence wouldn't return.  
"Should I pay you a visit and bring you flowers? I also would like to bring a cake but the bakery in Echidnaopolis burnt down - that business is now toast", Xenin said. "But how bad can it be at that lab? You should be able to bear more than that. I mean, I already survived mustard gas, you were peppered by glass shards - we are now seasoned veterans after all."  
Charon raised an eyebrow. Those puns were so bad it hurt. But still he couldn't help but smile.  
  
Two days in the lab had passed. His wounds were healing well; no other damages or malfunctions had been found on his body. If everything went well he was able to leave within the next few days.   
Someone knocked at the door of his resting place and as soon as he had called out that they could come in Xenin entered. He held two filled paper bags which he dropped on the bedside table.  
"I brought you flours."  
Charon gave him a slight smile. "Are you doing that with everyone?"  
"Yeah, but normally people are throwing things at me. It really hits me." He sat down on the bed next to Charon. "How are you feeling?"  
"Good, I can leave soon. Maybe they will send me out for another field test. Hope you're in for another mission together."  
His heart was eagerly nodding at the thought - his head was screaming at him 'Do you want to make it even worse?'  
Xenin silently looked at him for a while. "You are not feeling good", he finally said. "How long do we know each other? Is it ten years already? Sometimes you're my friend but sometimes you're like a stranger to me. It's hard to describe... I know you like my friendship but then you always put up these barriers between us. It was barely noticeable at the beginning but then... Had it really been time and different teams that made us strangers or had you unconsciously been digging a gap? During our last mission I thought we were closer again but then your barrier was back up repeatedly. What are you so afraid of? You helped me with my fears, why don't you let me help with yours?"  
Charon had never heard him sounding so serious and worried. His heart was screaming to tell something - if not his love then at least what was wrong with him, maybe it would ease the tension. He had opened up to Kaya-Na and Iskander so why couldn't he muster up the courage to talk to Xenin?  
Maybe because losing him out of all people would hurt the most.  
"I ... can't. You're really close to me and I want to keep it like that but ... I'm sorry ... I'm not ready yet."  
Xenin thought about it for a moment then said, "Whenever you are ready then." He gave him an encouraging smile. "I don't think it's anything so bad that it makes a mustard-pepper-veteran shy away from you. You don't look like the type who would murder children in their sleep or something the like."  
  
For a long while after Xenin left Charon remained sitting on his bed staring at the door. Why was the soultouch such a bitch? He didn't want to lose this friendship but the same time but the same time it hurt him.  
He then thought of what he had told Xenin two days ago - there are things you can't deal with alone. So why was he going against his own advice and suffering here alone?  
He took his phone from the bedside table, dusted off some flour and dialled a most familiar number.  
"Hey, big bro, what's up?" the happy voice at the other end of the line said.  
"Kaya... I just felt like I needed someone to talk to..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aqua is writing action scenes and the same time crying while listening to “The rose” by Bette Midler. XD Thinking of it, that song would actually fit Charon pretty well – if it wasn’t in the middle of explosions. And at the end I felt inspired by "Jenny" by Studio Killers - which is more fitting tbh.  
> This whole story had been planned for a long time as a good old action story but then it kept turning back into another insight into Charon's feelings - I blame Bette Midler and medicine. It's original working title also had been "Battleground" but since it's a direct follow up to "Memories" and really hasn't that much to do with battles that had to change as well.
> 
> My laptop looks kinda empty now. For the past three months I had sticky notes everywhere with either ideas for this story or just reminders that I still have to write it. For three months they were just basically shoved from place to place so they wouldn't always be in the way, now my laptop is free again.

**Author's Note:**

> First I keep procrastinating for months but once I finally sit down and start to write I can't stop anymore until it's done. Actually I wanted to still go for a little walk while it was still warm and sunny outside – but then I kept writing for six hours straight and it’s now nearly midnight.
> 
> Just a bit of Charon's past that I had in mind and wanted to write down for quite a while. I wanted to also include Iskander but there wasn't really that much I knew to write about so I only made him an honourable mention.
> 
> The names of the doctors Dee-Es and Nox had been taken from the Latin words (dies and nox) for "day" and "night". That's also where the idea for their fur colours stems from - one albino and one black. I don't think I will make them into OCs with more of a background story but I will probably keep them as background characters - a story just feels more alive when the background characters aren't all just nameless puppets.
> 
> During the scene in which Charon poured his heart out to Kaya-Na. I had been listening to "Can't help falling in love". Elvis made me cry.


End file.
